


Lorenzo the Idiot

by skywalkersamidala



Category: I Medici | Medici: Masters of Florence (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 00:43:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywalkersamidala/pseuds/skywalkersamidala
Summary: Lorenzo tries to break into Palazzo Pazzi to see Francesco one night, but he climbs up to the wrong window.





	Lorenzo the Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> I'm picturing them as like 16/17 years old here, just so you can fully appreciate the sheer teenage dumbassery of this scenario

Beforehand Lorenzo had thought it was a very clever idea, but it was seeming less and less so with every passing second. He climbed a little higher and his hand slipped, and his heart jumped into his throat as he scrambled to regain his grip. He managed to do it, but at the cost of slamming his hand right into a particularly thorny vine. Lorenzo spit out a curse and brought his hand up to his mouth to suck at the cut, which was rapidly starting to bleed. Yes, this had definitely _not_ been a clever idea.

But he’d come too far to back out now, so once he’d recovered he determinedly kept climbing. Francesco’s bedroom was only on the second story of Palazzo Pazzi, but Lorenzo felt like he’d been climbing forever. Hopefully no one would notice tomorrow morning the streaks of blood he was no doubt leaving all the way up the stone wall.

At last he reached the window. He peered inside, but it was too dark to see anything. He _had_ told Francesco to wait up for him…maybe he’d given up on him and fallen asleep, seeing as this whole escapade had already taken much longer than Lorenzo had expected.

Lorenzo tapped on the window. “Francesco,” he said in as loud a whisper as he dared. No response. Lorenzo knocked again, harder this time. “Francesco!”

“Lorenzo?”

Startled, Lorenzo turned his head and saw Francesco leaning out of the window two down from the one he was at. “What are you doing?” Francesco hissed, looking panicked.

“I told you I was coming tonight!”

“That’s not my window, that’s—!”

Francesco cut off with a gasp before finishing the sentence, but Lorenzo immediately found out whose window it was anyway, as Jacopo Pazzi threw it open so violently that Lorenzo lost his grip altogether and tumbled down to the garden below, where he lay groaning in pain and convinced he’d broken every bone in his body. (He was completely fine.)

Jacopo began shouting at him so loudly that the neighbors started lighting candles and curiously peering out of their windows to see what the fuss was about. Lorenzo desperately tried to think of an explanation. Francesco had his mouth firmly clamped shut and clearly was not going to be any help. “It was a prank!” Lorenzo blurted out. “Giuliano dared me to!”

“He did, did he?” Jacopo snarled, and he vanished from the window.

“You’re dead,” Francesco informed him before slamming his own window shut again.

Lorenzo was still too winded to make an escape, so he soon found himself being dragged by the ear by Jacopo back to Palazzo Medici, where Jacopo proceeded to make such a commotion that the entire household came running into the courtyard in their nightclothes.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Piero demanded. “Release my son at once!”

Jacopo shoved Lorenzo away from him in disgust. “Your young ruffian was trying to break into my house!”

“Lorenzo, is this true?” Lucrezia said, looking shocked.

Lorenzo hung his head. “Yes,” he mumbled.

“Why would you do such a thing?”

“Giuliano dared me to,” Lorenzo said again, now feeling guilty for dragging his innocent—for once—brother into this.

Lucrezia rounded on Giuliano expectantly. “Giuliano?”

Giuliano, bless him, seemed to immediately recognize the face of someone who was in desperate need of being covered for (God knew Lorenzo had done it for _him_ enough times), so without missing a beat he said, “I thought it would be funny. Didn’t think Lorenzo would be stupid enough to get caught, though.”

Bianca was covering her mouth with her hand, clearly struggling not to laugh. Lucrezia shouted at Lorenzo and Giuliano for a while as Piero and Jacopo shouted at each other, and then Jacopo stormed back to his house and Lucrezia and Piero stormed back to bed and Bianca went upstairs too, still giggling.

“Thank you, Giuliano,” Lorenzo said in the ensuing silence. “I owe you one.”

“So what were you _really_ doing?” Giuliano asked.

Lorenzo shuffled his feet. “Um…” He and Francesco were trying to keep their relationship absolutely secret and Francesco would kill him if he knew he’d told Giuliano, that is, unless Giuliano killed him first when he found out he was seeing Francesco Pazzi. But Lorenzo’s conscience told him that Giuliano deserved the truth after he’d saved his neck like that.

So he sighed and said, “I was…I was going to see Francesco.”

“In the middle of the night?” Giuliano said, looking puzzled. “What for?”

Lorenzo merely raised an eyebrow and waited for him to figure it out. And he had to admit, the look of dawning comprehension and horror on Giuliano’s face _was_ pretty amusing. “No!”

“Yes,” Lorenzo said.

_“No!”_

“Yes.”

“Francesco Pazzi? _Francesco Pazzi?!”_

“Keep your voice down!”

“Why? Why him?” Giuliano said in a revolted whisper. “Out of all the people in Florence—”

“I don’t expect you to understand—”

“Good, because I _don’t!”_

“—just don’t tell anyone,” Lorenzo finished. “Please?”

“I won’t, but only because I’d hate to see you murdered by Jacopo Pazzi,” Giuliano grumbled. _“Idiot.”_

And he stomped off to bed too.

* * *

“You’re an idiot, you know,” Francesco said the following night when they met up in a deserted alleyway safely far away from either of their homes.

“So I’ve heard,” Lorenzo agreed.

“I mean it. The biggest, most idiotic idiot in all of Florence.”

Lorenzo laughed and tugged him closer by the front of his cloak so he could kiss him. “You love me nevertheless,” he murmured against Francesco’s lips.

“Hmph. God knows why,” Francesco said, but Lorenzo could feel him smiling.


End file.
